Babcia

I was going through a drawer of things, which is something that I try to do several times a year. I don't want to ever run the risk of starring in Hoarders! In fact, for me, clutter and "things" can derail a perfectly good mood. I believe in Feng Shui even though I know very little about the ancient Chinese system of aesthetics. I have to believe that Feng Shui is what guides the minimalists of the world. I doubt that Feng Shui would approve of junk drawers, no matter how balanced, or nick-nacks collecting dust. But, I have gone way off subject. The point is that I was cleaning out a drawer, which led to cleaning out an armoire. I came across a small gift that was given to me by my Babcia (grandma) for my 1st college graduation. Almost immediately tears blurred my eyes as I was overwhelmed with thoughts of my Babcia. I remembered how she smelled and how the skin on her hands felt. She had soft hands with crooked knuckles that she attributed to a short stint as a non-believer of Western medicine. Simply by holding the small statue I experienced years of time spent with my Babcia. I was taken back to her house that she lived in before moving in with my aunt. I remembered the quails and the way she had certain things rigged to make her small stature less of a hindrance. I could remember every detail of her house.

I put the statue back in the armoire. I took it back out. Put in the "get rid of" bag. Took it out of the "get rid of" back. For some reason I had a terribly hard time getting rid of the small statue because I felt like I was getting rid of a piece of my Babcia. Ultimately, the statue made into the recycle bin. I don't know if it can really be recycled but it felt better than the "get rid of" bag. I know that my Babcia is not part of the statue but it is so difficult to part with anything that reminds me of her. But, the truth is that there is nothing that will ever blur my memory of her. I have carefully chosen a few items that were once hers, or gifts from her, to keep. I will never part with her ruby ring that she gave me. I wear it on days when I need extra strength or just want to feel her extra near, but I know that even without the ring she will never be far from my thoughts. Things are ultimately just things but my memory and love for my Babcia will never disappear.

Much time has passed since my last post...I still am not ready to write again. I have a lot to say but I can't put thoughts into words right now. Soon though.